..much to learn..

During the next 10 months.. I have so much planning to learn to not plan for.
I have a trip that will be life changing, and i have to learn be changed, with a willing heart to come back home different.
I have money that I "need to spend", and i have to learn how to save every penny.
I have a life that wants to remain "selfish" and heart that is dying to be layed down.
i have a family that doesnt really seem to care, and a dog that doesnt want me to leave her alone, even for a day.
I have friends that dont know how i will surivive a year in the "Unknown" and a country that thinks i should just "get a degree".
I have a job that doesnt excite me, and an apartment i dont want.
I have a church and a youth group that i adore and cheerish.

I also have a passion that is calling me..

I cannot sit around and wait for one else to take a stand that i have been called to stand for. I refuse to allow someone else to pursue the purpose of my life right now. I have been called to be a missionary in a family that doesnt go to Chruch.. and seems to have no desire to.

i never once thought God would use me. I never thought that i would be ""good enough" to be called by a great God. However, here I am, a youth leader, a worshiper, and a missionary!! An adventure that i always wanted to take on.. and God is asking me to step forward, to more the Kingdom forward.

How do you stand before God and tell him, "No"? I dont know how i did for so long.. but i had excuses. Now i dont, Thankfully!