New Heart for Worship…

I have been in Hong Kong for about a month now and my Papa is stirring up some great things within me. He has allowed me to see him in a new light and has brought old passions back to the surface. He has allowed me to press hard into him and see chains broken over my life/past. He has put his wonderful arms around me and comforted me while battles raged against me. He spoken to me almost daily and has set my soul on fire while giving me a new love for the Kingdom. He is good and sweet and beautiful!
One of our daily routines is to have worship for an hour each morning followed by a time of intersession. I have found these times to be the best 2 hours of my day! I get so filled up with the Spirit and covered in the love my Papa pours out upon me daily. There have also been days where I have had some hard conversations and hash out heart issues, and discuss my brokenness at times. Some days result in me not being able to stand still from excitement and other days I am humbled and find myself literally facedown asking/pleading with Papa to deliver me. In the past month I have had one reoccurring thought… What does it mean to worship?
I feel worship is different with each person. My Papa has had to walk with me a bit on this one to help me figure out what it looks like for me to worship him and bless him with all that is within me.
A few weeks ago, while singing in worship, I felt a distance and couldn’t seem to break through the darkness. I then got a picture that I believe was given to me from my Creator. It was a picture of me walking into a church and kneeling before the altar, closing my eyes, lifting my hands up high and singing with all my might. I felt Papa telling me, “Worship me like this. I gave you a voice that is wonderful to my ears, so honor me with it. I delight in the words you sing and the time you worship. Be humble. Be still and know that I hear you. Just sing what is on your heart child.”
I have also had a great desire within me to learn how to play the guitar while I am here. Today I kept getting images of me going back home and walking into my home church and just sitting on the altar while worshiping the lover of my soul! I have been praying hard about what these things me, and I feel that Papa is asking me to go home after this year is over and worship, without a fear of man. To walk into the doors and into a room full of people I know and allow Him to lead to worship as He desires of me. If that means getting raising my arms, kneeling down, or just being humbled enough to be facedown at the feet of Jesus and blessing him for what he has done for me… then I will do it!
This afternoon I came home, did some dishes, washed some clothes and sat down to journal and read. I kept coming back to the feeling of going home and worshiping. I then began to listen to some worship songs and soon found myself dancing around my house, singing at the top of my lungs with my arms stretched as high as they could go. At one point I had to put a pause on making my dinner because I was so overcome with joy and a desire to just close my eyes and jump around (I didn’t feel it was safe to do so while I held a very sharp knife in my hands). Long story short, I have a whole new heart for worship! I have noticed that I often get very distracted with what others think of me during worship. I have also become aware of how Papa has asked to worship him. I have discovered a new love for worship, which is crazy to imagine, since worship is my pathway to my Papa. It is wonderful just being overtaken with joy and a longing to express my love for my Lover.
A few songs that I have really gotten me excited lately are Phil Wickham’s song – You’re Beautiful. And also the David Crowder Band – Like a Lion. Both have amazing lyrics. I will leave you with a few of my favorite lines to sing loudly in my house. I truly believe and desire to speak/sing these words into life. Papa, would you allow Heaven to enter earth so these things would become our reality!

“Let love explode and bring the dead to life.
A love so bold, to bring a revolution somehow…
Let hope arise and make the darkness hide…
Now I’m lost in your freedom,
oh this world, I’ll overcome!

Let heaven roar
And fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sound of REVIVAL!!

My God is not dead, he’s surely alive,
He’s living on the inside, roaring like a lion”
Like a Lion – David Crowder Band

“When we arrive at eternity’s shore,
when death is just a memory and tears are no more.
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring,
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing,
You’re Beautiful!”
You’re Beautiful – Phil Wickham